morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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