11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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