I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
