weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
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he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
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Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS