Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize