JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year