Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
