The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
