how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
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Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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