I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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