I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
