I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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