I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
