Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
