thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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