I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
