My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
