dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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