Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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