Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
