He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
How does one acquire holy water?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
