my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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