Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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