btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
