I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
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First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
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And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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