I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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