Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I bet he comes in French.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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