The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
