I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
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