she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
vagina is talking i cant
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
