Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
