you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
