what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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