Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
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I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
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No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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