So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Randomize
