So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
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