Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
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Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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