a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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