I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.