I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
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you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
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There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You should frame my arrest warrant.