College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.