Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
