Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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