She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
