i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize