I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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