i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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