What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
