Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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