I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize