when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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