It's Friday. Sex?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
