You made me cry and you don't even care
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We have started to decorate penises.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
