Where is the hickey?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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