I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize