32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
