do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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