you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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