Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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