sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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