Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
This is classic penis vs brain.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
