You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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