Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
