ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
