Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
