tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
tell me about the eggs
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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