I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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