U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
