Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
